A new year and a new attitude

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I am now beginning the final countdown until fall semester.  Fall semester begins next Tuesday, and I think I’m about as ready as I’ll get at this point.  There is still so much to do, but there will be plenty of time for that in the coming weeks.

Last year was a very challenging year for me, and over the last several weeks, I’ve found myself worried about repeating the same mistakes this next year and feeling just as defeated as I did last year.  I can’t have another year like that, and I realize, as I head into a new academic year, that only I have the power to turn things around and improve my attitude.  I took on way too much last year, and I also found myself involved in a couple of projects that turned out not to be the right fit for me.  This really shattered my confidence and made me question just what I want to be doing with my life.

I’m not sure why, but I’ve struggled a lot lately to find my place, or my niche.  I haven’t been very happy, even though I know I have a lot going for me and a lot of accomplishments to be proud of.  This has been troubling, and it dawned on me, just this past week, that my biggest problem is that I’m always comparing myself to everyone else and concluding that I just don’t measure up.  This is “stinkin’ thinkin’,” as my husband would say.   I also think I sometimes have unrealistic expectations of other people, or that I tend to make very erroneous judgments of other people based on their actions.  This is not a healthy way to be, and I want to change that.  I can’t change other people, but I CAN change myself and how I view the world, and that’s what I want to work on this next academic year.

I’ve been riding my bike more and more lately, and as I go long distances, I have lots of  time to think and reflect and plan.  It hasn’t been easy to go such long distances, and often, I find myself wanting to turn back and go home just a short time after I get on my bike.  I don’t always think I can do it, but I try to challenge myself each time by going just a little bit further with each new ride.  I’ve had to really push myself to do this, but the feeling of accomplishment I get after I’ve completed a long ride makes it all worthwhile.  I guess I want this next year to be a lot like my bike rides.  I want to challenge myself to move outside of my comfort zone, and I want to compete against myself, not against everyone else.  I want to pursue the things I love and am passionate about–like online teaching and helping other faculty members make the transition to online teaching–and I want to collaborate more with others who share my passions.  I also want to write more and to move away from the mindset that everything I write has to be perfect before I ever dream of submitting it to be published.

On my bike ride this morning, I saw a field full of sandhill cranes.  There must have been about 100 cranes in the field.  It was such a beautiful sight, and I pulled over and tried to take some pictures.  It was still early in the day, and there was nobody else around on this country road.  I stayed there for a short time and enjoyed the silence as I watched the cranes.  It’s always a sad time when the cranes begin to gather in the fields because we know this means they will soon be leaving for the year, and we won’t see them again until the next spring.  Today, however, I realized that the cranes in the field are almost like a metaphor for one season ending and another beginning, and although I can be sad about it, I’m choosing to focus instead on being hopeful and optimistic about the future.

This will be a good year, dammit!   ;-)

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Bricks and Bikes

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One of my favorite shows is a British sitcom called “Father Ted.”  Chad and I love it so much that we actually purchased DVDs of all three seasons of the show.  No matter how much I watch these episodes, they always make me laugh.

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One of the characters on “Father Ted” is named Father Jack.  He is a very scary looking priest who smokes and drinks a lot, and mostly just swears when he talks.  In one episode, Father Jack develops an odd fixation with a brick and claims to love the brick, much like he would love a pet.  He even walks the brick around like a pet (as you can see in the above clip from YouTube).

I was thinking of this episode today when I went out for a bike ride, and, in my head, I could hear Father Jack saying “I love my brick” as I peddled down County Road 80, just a few miles from my house.  I feel that same way about  my bike.  Have I mentioned lately how much I love my bike?  I think what I love most is the feeling of freedom I get when I ride it.  I can get onto my bike and go where the wind takes me (within reason, of course).  I can explore new parts of town and be alone with my thoughts, and I can reflect a lot on what I’m doing and what I need to be doing.  For the past several days, I’ve had to spend a lot of time sitting in front of my computer in order to get my online courses ready to go for fall semester.  Taking a ride on my bike is always a nice reprieve from that, and I love it.

I was thinking today about how enjoyable it will be to go bike riding when fall arrives and the leaves start turning.  It will be nice when it’s cooler out, but I know that also means winter will be getting closer, and there will come a time when I’ll need to put my bike away for a few months and find other ways to exercise.  I don’t look forward to that time, but, on a positive note, it only means that it will be so much nicer when spring eventually arrives and I can dust off my bike and hit the streets again.  :-)

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And so it begins

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I seem to go through different stages when one semester ends and another is about to begin.

I feel tremendous stress and anxiety at the end of semester as I frantically grade final exams in order to submit my grades by the appropriate deadline.  Then, once grades are entered and released to students, I feel a sense of accomplishment mixed with a sense of dread because I don’t always know if all students expect the grades they ultimately end up getting. I wonder if I’ll get angry e-mail messages from students who are convinced that somewhere down the road, I made a mistake when figuring out their final grades.  I check my e-mail with hesitation for a few days after grades are released, and I breathe a sign of relief once a certain “grace period” goes by.

Then, of course, there is silence.  Suddenly, I don’t need to be checking my course sites on a regular basis because the semester is over.  There are no discussions taking place among my students that I need to monitor, and there are no e-mails coming in daily that I need to respond to right away.  There are no papers to grade or assessments to prepare, and I honestly don’t know what to do with myself.  I go from being super busy for several weeks at a time to having nothing to do, and it’s a bit of a shock.  It’s like that build up to a major holiday.  You are busy planning for it for a long time and then it happens and it’s over before you know it.  I always hate that “end-of-semester” letdown, and despite knowing it’s coming, I never seem to get used to it.

So, for a little while, I feel sad and disappointed that the semester is over.  Then, I start thinking about all I need to do to prepare for a new semester, and I feel a little angry that I don’t have more time off.  This is followed by another period of feeling incredibly stressed out as I frantically try to get as much as I can ready for the start of what will surely be another busy semester.  I curse at myself for trying to change too many things at one time in my courses because that just ends up creating more work, and I wonder why I ALWAYS do that to myself (obviously, as you may have guessed, I’m a slow learner). I question whether I have what it takes to pull things off, and I wonder if I will be able to do better than I did the last time I taught these same courses.  I spend time trying to implement the changes in my courses that I can easily make, and I lament the changes I would like to make but just don’t have the time tackle.

My favorite stage is the one that always seems to follow the stress and anxiety I feel at the thought of trying to get things in order for a new semester.  Somewhere in the midst of my frenzied preparations, a feeling of excitement washes over me, and I remember just what I love so much about teaching.  I think about how different things will be because of the fact that I’m trying new things.  Although I’m always a little bit scared of the unexpected and uncertain about what will happen if things don’t go as planned, I find that I can’t wait to discover how these new things play out, and I appreciate that I’ve grown to the point of feeling confident when it comes to trying new things.  I also think about the many new students I will meet and the new things I will learn from them.  I wonder what the “personalities” of my new classes will be like and what new adventures we will have together.   Certainly, there will be challenges ahead, but suddenly, I find myself looking forward to those challenges rather than wanting to run away from them and hide.

I’m now in that “anxiously looking forward to a new semester” stage, and even though there is still lots to do to get ready, it suddenly seems much more manageable (and dare I say “fun”?) than it did a couple of weeks ago.  I do love that feeling.  :-)

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Today

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Chad and I had to run some errands this afternoon.  Of course, while we were out, we noticed a “yard sale” sign that we had to follow.  The sale was at an old farmstead just a few miles from our house.

As I was looking through a bunch of prints and wall plaques that were sitting on a table (all just one dollar each), one small framed print captured my attention.  The word “TODAY” was displayed in large bold letters on the print, along with a picture of the sun setting in a mountain canyon.  Below the picture were the following words:

Today, I will be too calm for worry, too noble for anger and too strong for defeat.  Today, I will believe anything is possible…I will walk through fear without hesitation.  Today, I will stand for something.  Today, I will make a difference.

This print is now sitting at home on my desk, and I will read these words quite often because this is exactly the kind of attitude I want to have.  For some reason, this print really inspired me, and it made me remember that anything is possible if you put your mind to it.   And to think I got all that for just a dollar!  :-)

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A fly on the wall

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I’ve often thought it would be so neat to be able to take a year off (with pay, of course) and travel the country just observing other teachers.  How cool would it be to be able to sit in the classrooms of all the statistics educators I so admire, just to see them in action?   I like to think we could all learn a lot about teaching if we had more opportunities to observe our peers.  I do learn a lot from my peers when I attend conference presentations, or when we share ideas and resources, but it’s not the same as being able to see exactly how they implement their curriculum, or how their students respond to different activities and teaching approaches.

Of course, realistically, I don’t know that my desire to be a “fly on the wall” in other statistics classrooms will ever come to fruition.  I’m not as fond of traveling as I would like to be, and it would be very hard to be away from home for so long.  So, for now, I’ll just have to be content dreaming about the possibilities.  :-)

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To model or not to model

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My summer classes are over, and I am now thinking about the classes I will teach in the fall.  I’m thinking a lot about what worked well and what did not, and I’m also contemplating making changes.   Class prep would be so much easier if I could just be satisfied with the status quo, but I never am.

One thing I’m thinking about is the project I ask my introductory statistics students to complete.  Students have to gather their own data, and the data must lend itself to either a paired or a two-sample t-test.  I’ve been using this project for years, and I’m generally happy with it, especially now that I require each student to submit his or her project in parts rather than turn in the whole thing near the end of the term.  A lot of students have commented that the project was beneficial for them and even an enjoyable way to apply what they learned about in the course, and these are definitely very good reasons–in my opinion–to continue using this assignment.

My concern is that time and again, I see similar types of struggles on this assignment, and it’s made me question how I structure the assignment and guide students along the way.  Two common issues are that (a) students do not include all required components of the project, even though these components are laid out in a very detailed grading rubric, and (b) some students require much more feedback along the way than I am able to give (i.e., they want feedback on each section of the project and then want even more feedback–before they turn in a final draft–just to make sure they have incorporated my initial feedback in the right way).  It’s possible that my grading rubric could be improved and simplified (in order to tackle the first issue), and I’ve tried to address the second issue by telling students that I will only look at one rough draft of their work.

More and more, I find myself wondering about providing students with a “model” project to serve as a guide for them as they complete their own work.  Several students have asked me over the years if I could provide a model for them, and although I did provide models when I first started teaching, I soon abandoned them because I worried that seeing a “model” project would stifle creativity.  I worried that students would simply copy the model and replace certain words, phrases, or numbers with information that matched their particular projects.  I didn’t want my students to come away thinking there was just one “right” way to do things, and I hoped that by having to struggle a bit to figure out just how to present their data and share information in particular ways, my students would learn much more in the process.

Ironically, I know that I learn well by having models to follow.  My husband often gives me a hard time because he says that I need step-by-step directions and guidance in order to do certain things.  This is true.  I need structure because I don’t want to make silly mistakes or head down the wrong path and then feel like I’ve just wasted my time.  I’m sure many of my students feel like this as well, but I still question whether–in this particular situation–models will do more harm than good.

Am I worrying about this for nothing?

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Student opinions about technology use in the classroom

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Of course, we have to be careful in terms of the conclusions we draw from this article (given the small, non-random sample), but I found it very interesting to listen to the things students like and dislike about an instructor’s use of technology in the classroom.

http://chronicle.com/blogs/wiredcampus/video-forum-students-assess-their-professors-technology-skills/32750?sid=wc&utm_source=wc&utm_medium=en

When I first started teaching, I have to admit that I relied way too much on PowerPoint.  I worried a lot that I would forget what I wanted to share with my students, and I thought PowerPoint was the best way to carefully organize my material and present it to the class (let alone providing my students with notes to study from at a later time).  I did a lot more “lecturing” when I first started teaching, and I naively believed that having some fancy slides would make my lectures more tolerable.  Looking back on that time, I don’t think that was the case at all, and I cringe when I think about some of what I did and how I thought it might be helping my students learn.  If anything, it was probably helping to put them to sleep!

I now use PowerPoint rather sparingly.  I may have a handful of slides that cover bigger ideas or take-home messages, but I’d much rather engage students in discussion and activity than to wade through a long PowerPoint presentation.  I’m lucky, however, in that I teach smaller classes and have some flexibility in terms of how I structure those classes.  I know some instructors who teach very large classes where lecture appears to be the norm (or the expectation).  I would need to seriously re-think what I do and how I do it were I to teach a course like that.

For me, one big message that came from this article is the need to have a “Plan B.”  As much as I hate to admit it, I know I am TOO reliant on technology.  I often teach in a computer lab where technology plays a key role in most of our daily class activities.  I still remember a time not long ago when I came to the lab and found that none of the computers were working.  I honestly thought I might have to cancel class because the only activities I had planned involved using the computers, and I couldn’t even project anything from the main instructor computer.  Fortunately, the problem corrected itself shortly before my class started, but it was an important reminder to me that even though technology can be a great friend, it can also be our worst enemy.

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Teaching online on a budget

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I have often thought an interesting conference presentation might involve sharing ways to teach online “on a budget.”  For example, not all online instructors have the funds to purchase software that would allow them to transform their courses by adding things like video or conferencing capabilities.  There is also the issue of time management in online teaching.  How can we “budget” our time and not reinvent the wheel when we don’t have to?

I realized this summer that one thing I need to start doing is using screencasting software to make short videos for my students that demonstrate how to use different applets.  Although I try to put detailed handouts together with instructions for students, it became clear to me, when meeting with some students over the summer, that these resources were not always as clear as they could have been.  Working through an example or two myself, and recording my screen, might go a long way in terms of helping students feel more comfortable using applets and other online tools.  Not all instructors have access to screencasting software, but my friend Cathy Swift shared a site with  me today that provides links to 18 free screencasting tools.  I look forward to checking these out!

http://missnoor.visibli.com/share/xd8cMY

One thing I haven’t done a lot in my own courses is hold online office hours or video conferences with students.  I’ve tried in the past to use chat rooms to hold office hours, but few students have taken advantage of this.  This too is something I’d like to explore more, and I know there are others who have interests in software that might allow them to connect with their students using video and/or audio.  Here are some free options that I know about:

http://www.seabreezecomputers.com/tips/videochat.htm

Cathy also shared another neat site with me that includes the “35 Best Web 2.0 Classroom Tools.”  I’m especially intrigued by Tagxedo (which allows you to create Wordles that resemble larger images) and Bitstrips (which allows you to make and share comic strips).  I’m already thinking about how I might incorporate these things into course assignments, or how I might use them to improve upon the materials I present to students.  Not all of the tools on this site are free, but many of them do have free demos that you can use.

http://edudemic.com/2010/07/the-35-best-web-2-0-classroom-tools-chosen-by-you/

One thing I realize more and more is that not everyone knows how many great teaching resources are freely available to everyone.  While at JSM, I led a roundtable titled “Becoming a Teacher of Statistics,” and nobody at my table had ever heard about CAUSE.  I also talked to a group of faculty in my college not long ago who were developing hybrid courses, and many of them had never heard about MERLOT.  If you are an instructor and time is a precious commodity, why not use materials that others have graciously shared?

Of course, there are probably quite a few other neat tools out there that I don’t know about but would find very useful.  Have you found any great free options for online instructors that you’d like to recommend?  :-)

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To speak or not to speak

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I was voted the Quietest Senior in high school.  Speaking up was very hard for me throughout most of the years I was in school.  I was terribly shy and had no confidence, and I did whatever I could to avoid having any attention placed on me.  I just wanted to blend into the background, and I obviously succeeded quite well in that.  Honestly, I was very surprised when I found out I was named the “Quietest Senior,” not because I didn’t think I deserved that title, but because I was so quiet and shy that I didn’t think anyone really noticed I was even there half the time.

Because of my shyness, I find it ironic that I am now a teacher.  Every day, I have to face my fears and talk in front of other people.  It’s gotten easier for me to do this over the years, but it still terrifies me, and there is still a big part of me that finds it challenging to handle being in the spotlight.  This feeling of uneasiness was all too apparent to me just this past week when I was at a conference.  I was involved in several meetings, I talked in two sessions, and I led a roundtable discussion.  I don’t think I left a single meeting or a session feeling that I had done the best that I could.  I kept going over in my head what I should have said or done, and how I could have presented myself differently, and I kept thinking about moments when I could have spoken up but didn’t.  There seems to be this constant tension within me that I just can’t get past.  On the one hand, I want to be a leader in the field and I want people to know who I am.  On the other hand, I question whether I have what it takes to be a leader, and I think I’d be far more comfortable sitting back and observing.

I’ve come such a long way from my days as the Quietest Senior, and I’m proud of that, but I still have so much self doubt, and this troubles me.  Shouldn’t it be getting easier?  Will it ever get easier?  I let too much of my life pass me by because I’m still afraid to speak up and share and let people know who I really am.  I pass on certain opportunities because I just don’t feel I’m a strong enough leader to handle them.  I don’t want to be like that anymore.

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The Experimental Classroom

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I just got home from the Joint Statistical Meetings (JSM).  As always, I found myself sitting in on different sessions and getting some very good ideas for activities I might try in my own courses, or new ways of teaching that I might want to employ.   I realize, however, that so often, I go to conferences and feel immediately energized and excited about new ideas, but when I get home and teach again, I end up falling back on what I always do or what seems most comfortable for me to do.  Why is that?

I was thinking about this a lot at JSM, and I think part of the reason I don’t revolutionize what I am doing is because I am uncertain about what the outcome might be (even if I hear that others have observed positive outcomes), and I want to “do no harm” to my students.  I’m not at all hesitant when it comes to “experimenting” here and there with a new activity or a new way of explaining a concept, but making sweeping changes in my entire curriculum is a whole different can of worms.  How can I change my attitude so that I no longer feel this way?  I think there are so many things I could do to make my classes better and to give my students a more meaningful learning experience, and even if it takes me outside my comfort zone, I know I owe it to them to give it a try.

As I was walking from one part of the Miami Convention Center (Hall A) all the way over to the other side (Hall D), I found myself dreaming about how neat it would be if we could each have an “experimental classroom.”  What if we had a class full of students who were there just to be “guinea pigs” for us as we tried new things solely for the purpose of seeing how those things would work?  These students would be there to learn and give us feedback, and we would assess them, but their grades wouldn’t really count toward anything.  We’d have the opportunity to try things out and observe how they work, and perhaps even have miniature focus groups throughout the semester to learn more from the students about what they liked and did not like.  We could bring in different textbooks and try them out one at a time to see which one worked the best (or to see if a textbook is even necessary), and we could do something similar with software programs.   We might adopt radically new ways of teaching that involve presenting topics in an unusual order, omitting certain topics altogether, adding more advanced topics, or moving from the traditional approaches to randomization-based approaches.   We could do all sorts of really neat stuff without worrying that our students would not “get it,” or that they would fail because of mistakes WE as teachers might make.  We’d have that freedom to truly experiment just to see what might happen.

I get a very happy feeling just thinking about how cool that would be.   :-)

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